I can’t believe Tatum is almost a month old! I wrote the majority of this post at 2 weeks post partum but it’s taken me a little longer to share. If you missed her Birth Story blog post you can read it here.
I have been getting tons of questions about my post post partum journey so far and what products I would recommend. For those of you who don’t know, I am a mother baby/post partum nurse so I thought I was pretty prepared for the post partum period. However I was wrong – although I felt confident during my hospital stay, I was not prepared once I got home. I had almost everything ready for Baby, but did not nearly have enough post partum supplies for myself and I felt like there were so many things no one had told me. So I am grateful I am able to share my experience as a first time mom.
my post partum hospital experience
I decided to deliver at the hospital I work at because of the staff. I know and trust my coworkers and knew they would take extra great care of all of us. Also a lot of the patients I take care of on the unit rave about how much they love the hospital, especially the moms who have delivered elsewhere. And of course I knew exactly what to expect during my stay on the post partum floor! I truly had the best experience; one of my best friends was my post partum nurse, my work friends decorated my room and brought me gifts and snacks, and it really was so great having my work family meet my baby.
As a nurse I always say I see it all and am aware not everyone gets the “happy ending” after birth that I was lucky enough to have. If anything, it made me so much more grateful to be able to enjoy my healthy baby surrounded by people that care about me.
As far as the physical aspects go, the pain I had immediately after delivery was not bad. During labor and delivery I did end up with a peri urethral tear that required stitches and had a ton of swelling down there, mostly from the Pitocin and pushing for an hour. I remember feeling a lot of soreness and discomfort when I sat on my bottom, but nothing too severe. I think I experienced so much pain during labor with the contractions that nothing compared afterwards. However I still kept up with the Tylenol and Motrin around the clock as more of a preventative measure. I also used most of the supplies the hospital provided – ice packs, pads, witch hazel pads, the peri bottle, and dermaplast spray which all helped as well. And then I used my own disposable underpants (the Frida mom ones linked below) because the ones at the hospital are a fishnet material and I knew they would not even stay up on me since they run so big lol.
I do remember feeling pretty tired the first 24 hours after delivery. I had so much adrenaline though and was still overjoyed I was finally with my baby girl! The only time I slept during my stay was when the nurses took Tatum out of the room to watch her for me – I was too anxious to sleep with her in the room because I kept getting scared she would choke or stop breathing.
As far as Tatum… she was very sleepy during the first 24 hours which is totally normal for new babies. However she was too sleepy to even latch after her first feed out of the womb, so I ended up pumping the night I delivered and just had her suck the colostrum off my finger. Luckily after 24 hours she hit a turn and was way more alert and was able to breastfeed. She did great and passed all her tests!
She was born Tuesday night and we were able to be discharged Thursday late morning.
what i used from my hospital bag
I received several questions regarding what I ended up using from my hospital bag. I wrote a separate blog post here linking all of the items I packed with me. Since I was induced I wasn’t sure how long I would be staying, so I packed a few extra items that I didn’t need but would have used them if I ended up staying longer. The only things I didn’t use were my robe, second set of pajamas, and most of the snacks. I wasn’t as hungry as I expected to be after birth, I think because I had a much greater appetite when I was pregnant so once I delivered it went back down lol.
2 week post partum update
The first week Ryan and I were home was so hard, especially the first two nights. As I mentioned earlier in this post, I was NOT prepared for the immediate post partum time at home. The first week was tough, especially the first two nights. During one of the first nights, at one point all three of us were crying.
The physical pain was the worst part. Taking care of a newborn wasn’t hard for me. Taking care of a newborn while also trying to take care of myself was the hardest. I couldn’t even keep up with my pain medicine — I would try to write down the times I took the Tylenol and Motrin but would end up forgetting to take them even though I was in so much pain. No one warned me how much it would HURT to pee when I got home. It was a whole process – I was using all the supplies but every time I would pee I was in tears because it was so painful – like glass shards scraping me every second I sat on the toilet. I know the fact that I had the peri urethral tear made it so much more painful but never had I been warned about this. I ran out of ice packs pretty quickly – I used so many – probably 10 per day. I discovered that the Frida mom ones were better than the hospital brand, but would still take the hospital ones over nothing. I had not purchased any ahead of time and quickly used up the ones I got from the hospital. Luckily a few friends dropped off more for me which was a lifesaver. I also had been using the regular peri bottle from the hospital and finally decided to try the Frida mom angled one which helped a ton too. But even with all the supplies the only thing that really healed the area was time – a week later I felt 10x better and probably 10 days later I felt completely relieved of pain.
Thankfully Ryan has been the most supportive partner and did everything he could to help and take care of me. One of the first nights, when we were all crying, Tatum wouldn’t latch. She had been having a tougher time with latching on one of the sides, but at one point in the middle of the night she was screaming her head off at the top of her lungs. I tried everything to try and get her to latch. I hand expressed colostrum and even put formula and then sugar water on my nipples and she was not having it. I tried pumping and couldn’t even get more colostrum out. After many tears were shed by all of us, Ryan and I figured the only solution was to give her formula. Luckily I had asked for a box of premade bottles at the hospital so I had them on hand. The minute Tatum started drinking the bottle, she calmed down and it was the biggest relief. We ended up supplementing the whole next day until my milk came in.
Those two experiences were the toughest – the physical pain and the time Tatum stopped latching. Thankfully we are way past both, and life now is SO much more pleasant.
After the first two nights, Ryan and I had decided we needed all the help we could get as soon as possible and arranged for both of our moms to come visit. Ryan’s mom came over that Sunday evening, three nights after we were discharged. My mom came the next day, the Monday evening, four days from when we were discharged. While I am grateful to have them in my life, I ended up having a difficult time during both visits since it was still so early and I was still adjusting. The two most difficult things for me – the pain and Tatum’s trouble feeding – were things no one could help with. I ended up just feeling more overwhelmed and looking back I wish we had given ourselves just a few more days for the two of us to figure things out and for me to heal.
The second week is when everything started to get better. The pain had lessened a ton. I also had figured out breastfeeding. I bought a nipple shield to help Tatum latch – when I tried it the first time she latched instantly and it’s been a lifesaver ever since. Also when my milk came in we were able to cut out the formula which I was happy about because I wanted to exclusively breastfeed/pump and Tatum did not like the taste of formula. So having both of those things under control made our lives so much better!
After two weeks, I felt completely normal physically. The swelling went away. The pain went away. I’m able to enjoy activities like going for family walks in the city again. I’m able to invite people over with out having anxiety. I’m super happy. I’m not stressed out. I feel like I am truly living my best life right now! (trying to not think about what it will be like when I have to go back to work…) But really, it is the best experience getting to cuddle my baby and there is so much more love and purpose in my life.
post partum essentials
- Target maternity pants – I wore these pants everyday for the first week and a half. They were the only pants (besides pajamas) that fit me right after I gave birth especially with the ice packs and all the pads. Plus they are so comfortable and soft!
- Frida Mom angled peri bottle – I wish I had this the first week – luckily my friend gave me hers she never used and I only wish I had tried it earlier! It helped way more with pain when I peed than the regular peri bottle from the hospital did.
- Frida mom disposable underpants – I knew the hospital mesh panties would be too big for me and are just the worst haha, so I knew I would want my own. These are the BEST. They also come in boy shorts and bikini cut and I like both but liked the boy shorts more. They fit so much better and are way thicker than the ones from the hospital.
- Slippers with grips – I actually wore these in the hospital and they have been great for post partum as well. My house has a lot of floors which means lots of steps, and I am worried that with regular socks on I may drop Tatum more easily.
- Frida mom ice packs – these work much better than the hospital ones and were a lifesaver the first week
- Witch hazel tucks pads – these help a lot with pain, I lay them overtop the ice packs
- Fria Mom witch hazel foam – I would spray this overtop the witch hazel pads for extra pain relief
- Panty liners – I hate wearing thick pads and now since I’m not bleeding as much, these are perfect
And a few things I can’t link… a pillow/cushion for sitting on the couch or in a car, a supportive partner, and a bottle of wine LOL
breastfeeding essentials
- Madela pump – this is the exact pump I have, it works great, it’s also the same brand the hospital carries so I trust it
- Breast milk storage bags – these are a must have to store breast milk in the fridge or freezer. I have the madela ones too but lprefer the Lansinoh becuase I they are easier to seal and are better at preventing milk from leaking
- Earth Mama nipple butter – this was a lifesaver when I was breastfeeding without the nipple shield and having pain. I think Tatum actually likes the taste of it. It’s all natural ingredients like beeswax so there is nothing that can harm her.
- Lululemon scubas and Amazon zipper pullovers – I have been loving these sweatshirts not only for breastfeeding but they are great for that as well. They are so soft and warm, come in a bunch of colors, and are really cute. The zipper goes down far enough to breastfeed or pump and it’s easier to navigate than a top with buttons.
- Nipple shield – obviously everyone will not need this, but my nipples got a lot smaller after I gave birth and Tatum would not latch. The nipple shield works great for us and now she has no issues latching. I also don’t have any pain with breastfeeding which I had before. So even if your baby latches but you find your nipples hurt a lot a nipple shield may be a good idea. And Tatum still LOVES to breastfeed.
- Soft pajamas with buttons – I know they’re a splurge but I love this pair from Nordstrom because the quality is so good and they’re so soft
- Nursing camisoles – I tried some from Target but they weren’t as soft as these camis from Nordstrom. They are SO soft and comfortable, I am sure I will still wear them even when I amount not nursing anymore!
- Nursing bras – Again tried some from Target, didn’t love them.. I LOVE these ones. They are so so soft and comfortable, easy to nurse in and I will also be wearing them forever. They are the only nursing bras I have tried that I like.
- Nursing pads for bras – I tried another kind on Amazon that leaked through and felt wet on my breasts. I like these because they are more comfortable and look better underneath clothing and also do a much better job at containing moisture.
my best advice/ what has helped us
There are a lot of things I would tell myself if I could go back in time after knowing what I know now about the post partum period. There are also a few things Ryan and I did that I think really helped us that I am happy to share.
- No visitors the first week – I wish I had given myself more time to physically recover before having anyone over and given ourselves ore time just the 3 of us to figure things out.
- Not giving anyone a specific time to visit until after the birth – This is something Ryan and I did that I am so glad we chose to do. From the beginning I wanted to wait until after Tatum was born and then decide when we were ready for visitors. You don’t want to mislead people and say they came come visit the baby after two weeks if you change your mind and push it back after baby is born, it might not seem fair to some people.
- Stock up on post partum supplies – I definitely did not have enough ice packs and I know you can always order things, but if my friends had not brought me the ice packs I would have had to wait a few days for even Amazon to deliver them. Also making sure you have pain meds at home – we realized after we got home from the hospital that we were out of Motrin so Ryan had to go back out and pick it up for me.
- Keep rules and boundaries consistent from the start – with RSV season, germs, and the fact hat baby’s immune system is underdeveloped, Ryan and I decided we would not permit anyone to kiss Tatum’s face. We informed everyone visiting her of this ahead of time so there would be no questions.
- Remember everything is temporary – this is what I kept telling myself when I would sit down on the toilet to pee. It was the worst pain, second to the contractions, and I just kept reminding myself that it was just temporary and that Tatum was worth it.
- Get yourself ready everyday – I have gotten dressed each day, even if it’s lounge wear. I also have done my make up almost every day. Spending even just a few minutes getting myself together each morning sets the tone for the day and makes me feel so much more put together. It takes me less than 10 minutes to do my make up and I always feel better after. It’s just a habit now and I love getting ready!
- Take a ton of warm showers – warm showers were something I looked forward to every day because they helped me feel so much better. They helped take the edge off the pain, helped me relax, and helped me feel clean again. I felt so gross all the time with all the bleeding.
- Get out of the house everyday – Since the pain went away, I have been taking daily walks with Ryan and Tatum around the city and they have been the highlight of my day. It was tough in the beginning because it hurt to move around, and I don’t have an outdoor space I can hang out at yet plus it has been so cold recently so now that I’m able to get outside makes ever day so much better. Even if the weather is bad, just going for a Starbucks drive through run or picking up a Target order – something to get you out of the house – makes a huge difference.
I already knew being a mom would be the most difficult, the most important and the most rewarding job I would ever have. Even after all the pain she is so worth it! I’ll share my newborn necessities soon!
